A New Year and a Letter of Reconnection
Updated: Jan 18, 2022
These past few months,
I've been nestling inward.
Cozying up side by side with myself.
Resting in meditation.
Wrapping myself in a tender cloak of rituals..
and softly unfolding into what growth and findings
this past year offered me.
How have you tended to yourself as we enter 2022?
Yesterday's Full Moon (in Cancer), beckons each one of us to look inward and see how we might tend to ourselves as we enter the new year. It's emotional feeling qualities correlates with our 2nd chakra, and invites us to go deep within and heal.
To pause, to listen, to FEEL.
This watery, sensory, feeling moon invites us to ask
how might we nourish and support ourselves towards a life and body that we feel truly at home in?
It's time to sit down and go deep.
Recognize hurts, wounds, patterns, habits, that are hinder and gently tend to that space that needs
It's time to stop drifting and drop anchor into who we are.
As I sat with these invitations from this cancer moon,
it brought to mind the work I've been steeped in these past few months...
I've been in deep exploration & study of the 7 chakras, and the intricate role they play in our body, psyche, and energetic being.
From root (muladhara) to Crown (sahasrara)
I've been meditating, flowing with them..
breathing and humming to them,
and dropping within them to feel and listen.
The 2nd chakra is our source of emotional identity.
Feeling sensation, emotions, pleasure, need, desire, the shadow, guilt.
It's no wonder then, that with this feeling moon brought up thoughts of the 2nd chakra and how if we truly wish to feel a sense of belonging and be clear on our needs and desires, we must first go deep, connect, and heal this part of ourselves.
It's said that emotions are the language of the soul.
Yet, when this part of ourselves isn't clear and embedded with guilt (2nd chakra's beast/lesson), how can we clearly hear our language within? Guilt is a powerful emotion. One that causes constriction, and hinders, or blocks us, from our real feelings. It can make us numb and think in terms of black and white.
I really began to understand the power and duality of guilt in the 2nd chakra by going within myself. I had a life changing revelation that brought deep understanding of self & this work.
One morning, after mediation, I was journaling about guilt and diving deep into how and where it played a role in my life, and why. I was journaling endlessly, words, feelings, spilling out..
when I uncovered something so simple yet so revelatory:
I realized that the guilt I was writing on, the guilt that was driving certain parts of my life,
was no longer a living thing.
It wasn't a true or active guilt.
It was only a shadow of the past,
entangled within my body and dominating my present.
"Unhealthy guilt is an autoimmune disease of the soul that causes us to literally reject our own worth as human beings." - Joan Borysenko
While guilt is meant to be an indicator for awareness, more often than not, it becomes a place of judgement locked deep in our psyche. It makes it harder to be truthful and communicate with ourselves and with others.
I deeply realized this truth in my own self-reflection. This ghost of guilt within me, that was blocking me from vibrantly living in connection and truth with myself, my senses, pleasure, desire, and intuitively knowing what my needs were and how to fill them. It had my "feeling" compass bound up instead of living in attunement with here and now.
WHOAH.
I was bewildered and joyous about this finding. I had the desire to journal, to dance, but first...I wanted to integrate and allow this excavation close.
So I settled into a reclined (savasana) position and welcomed a practice to support me in deepening this connection, allowing further clearing, and energetic healing to this chakra.
HERE IS THE PRACTICE I USED, AND THAT YOU MAY USE, AS A FORM OF SUPPORT AND CONNECTION:
1) First, I drew a circle of protection around me, welcoming several deep breaths as I settled into this sacred space. I recognized and thanked the earth for holding me and keeping me safe.
2) I brought my focus (dharana) to my sacrum and funneled my breath into this space. I breathed here (sacrum) offering deep loving inhalations and exhalations. (3min)
3) I then, softly began chanting the bija (seed) mantra VAM associated with the 2nd chakra. (2min)
4) I placed my hands on my 2nd chakra (connection) and envisioned an orange (lotus) flower unfolding, energy shifting and moving. (1-5min)
5) I invited deeper relaxation by bringing awareness to each part of the body touching and supported by earth. (1-3min)
5) I released all of the above, and rode the nurturing wave of inhalation & exhalation of breath. (5min)
6) Lastly, wriggle it out, journal, move, dance. Drink water.
What I found was that by creating this nurturing and curious practice,
I became aware of the unseen and broke the chains that robbed me of my grace and power. My connection to my soul's language and the knowing of my deepest desires.
Through this discovery, I also came to understand
that guilt doesn't have to be a burden,
it can be an ally.
It can offer us feedback and self-examination,
and even boundary setting,
if we are in good relation with it.
"Guilt is a teacher when it guides us,
but a demon when it binds us."